What is Dar thinking?
I never know, I never know. The pain of my life is that I don’t know. So today I’m going to take a wacky step toward addressing that pain. The kind of wackiness that the writers (and viewers) of “Look Who’s Talking” would heartily endorse. I’m going to caption some old photos with things he might have been thinking.
“This rubber feels nice. Can everyone stop talking about me please?”
“My brother in that car seat is really weird. Why does he get all this attention that I don’t?”
“Dad, why am I sitting on a bunch of pumpkins? Did you think this was comfortable?”
“Just because our lives are a roller coaster does not mean I LIKE roller coasters, OKAY?”
She so crazy!
“What? Did I not say something wrong?”
“I love this flag. Now what’s this Untied Straits of Aunt Erica again?”
“Please end this photo before my brother reads every single goddamn letter on the sign.”
“Dad, is there a reason we’re dressed for a Pearl Jam concert in 1992?”
“WOOO I am an awesome underwater swimmer!!”
“Uh, one of us has to keep an eye out for THE BIRDS, thanks.”
“Come on, brother, jump off that cliff. Want the parents all to myself again.”
“Is this what you want, Dad? Someone who just LOOKS thoughtful? Will that satisfy you, for Pete’s sake? I’m telling you I’m REALLY not into talking, so you might have to learn to love this, got it?”
“Loving this trip to Albania! Where is Albania again?”
“Here’s where I begin my policy of ignoring my brother. That way, if I ever really need something from him, he’ll be so stunned when I pay attention that he’ll do it right away.”
“Oh hey it’s my aide at school. Uh I THINK the words written between our heads say it all.”
“I got better hair than alllll of these kites.”
“Just working on a cure for cancer. Oh, now I forgot again.”
“Don’t make me do anything, I really don’t want to do anything, please!”
“I just want to space out; annoying my brother is just a side benefit.”
“Thanks for the trip to Mesa Verde, Mom and Dad. Gonna ignore everything but my hands now.”
“I always thought there’d be more time.”