We ought not to have gone skiing before we knew wifey was pregnant.

We ought not to have ridden that roller coaster before we knew wifey was pregnant.

We ought not to have drunk wine that one night before we knew wifey was pregnant.

We ought to have known the moment he was born, and it took ten seconds for the doctors to make him cry.

We ought to have known from the first two weeks of his life, which he spent in an ICU learning to eat.

We ought to have been more careful with him as an infant; did someone drop him on his head while we weren’t looking?

We ought to stop thinking about the past and focus on the present and the future.

We ought not to worry about the future and instead take it day-by-day.

He ought to have progressed beyond the vocabulary he had two years ago.

He ought to be on a gluten-free, casein-free diet.

He ought to be on medication.

We ought to go to many more Special-Needs events led by very helpful local institutions.

We ought to spend more time with him and talk with him more.

We ought to talk with him every moment we’re in the car.

He ought to brush his teeth every day.

He ought to spend less time on the iPad.

We ought to force him to use PECs or the iPad every single time he wants something, instead of (sometimes) taking the path of least resistance (giving him what we know he wants).

We ought to take more advantage of respite care and actually go out to dinner by ourselves sometimes.

We ought to read him more books (even though he screams when we try).

We ought to work harder at potty-training him.

We ought to do more research to find more kids like Dar.

We ought to play with him the way we play with his brother.

We ought to let him play more in the bath, but it’s not fun cleaning up what he leaves there.

We ought to invest in a hot tub or pool.

He ought to be forced to eat while sitting at a table, instead of permitted to eat while walking around.

We ought to hide more of his toys, so that he has to ask for them.

He ought to have more play dates.

He ought to speak proactively, but he almost never does.

He ought to stop hitting himself, stop biting himself.

He ought to eat more protein and fewer goldfishies.

We ought to schedule swimming classes.

We ought to find out which music he likes best, and “program” for that.

We ought to do more exercises with him that force him to use his (weak) left hand.

We ought to do more “pretend play” with him.

We ought to attend an RPM workshop.

He ought to leave the Berkeley schools and get 1-on-1 schooling at home.

We ought to know what he means when he screams and cries seemingly without antecedent.

We ought to ignore his periodic screaming.

We ought to know what he means when he screams and cries for an hour.

We ought to teach him bike-riding or roller-skating.

We ought to make him draw more; he ought to draw better.

We ought to work harder to integrate the work of his school therapists, his home therapist, and his insurance-paid speech therapist.

We ought to travel more with him.

He ought to have a better bedtime routine than simply drinking Benadryl and nodding off while watching an iPad.

We ought to move more things around the house, because he’s destroying things he shouldn’t have access to.

We ought to teach him not to touch certain items, because he’s destroying things.

We ought to stop telling him NO without offering a secondary option.

We ought not to beat ourselves up.

We ought to treasure what we have and not worry about what we don’t have.

We ought to give more money to organizations looking for a cure for autism.



Lot of oughts.