I have not been feeling great about Dar’s progress lately. You may have sensed this.

It’s times like these that it helps to remind myself that I can, if only for a brief moment, conjure up the Dar of an alternative timeline who was born without autism, born with the same intelligence level as you or me. If only for a moment, I can live in that alternate timeline.

Sometimes Dar isn’t in the mood for tickles. But often, he is. I don’t know what protocol his aides and teachers follow when he says “tuh-kuh!”…they might be worried about being sued for touching a student. (We wouldn’t sue.) But I don’t need to wait for Dar to ask. I can just go at him.

If he’s feeling it, he’ll just lie on the floor laughing. Just like any kid would.

I should get R into doing this with me. I know he doesn’t like tickles for himself, but he could learn to give some out. At some point, he’ll be taking over all the other Dar jobs, so…he may as well learn the only consistently fun one.

And it’s nice that I can do, you know, something for Dar. Something that he’s clearly enjoying, instead of merely tolerating.

It’s a sudden wormhole into this other universe where I have this normal family and we don’t have to plan every day like a military operation.

So nice.

And then the door slides shut again, and we’re back to Planet Disabled.

Sigh.

 

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