inside out inception

Headquarters, where Riley’s five emotions live and work. Night, and four of them are asleep. The fifth is at the control panel.

FEAR (Bill Hader)

Just another night of boring dream duty…ho-hum…hey, that looks familiar.

(We see the dream: rainy LA streets, oddly photorealistic humans for a cartoon. And then, incongruously, a train powering through them…)

FEAR

Disgust? Disgust? Wake up.

DISGUST (Mindy Kaling, sleeping)

Omigod, Fear, what is it this time?

FEAR

There’s a train in Riley’s dream that shouldn’t be there. You know, the train of thought that we see outside our window?

DISGUST (sleepy)

She’s dreaming about a train? Who cares? You wake me up for this? Go back to dream duty.

FEAR (returns to big screen)

Where’s the…train? It was right there. Where’s her whole dream? Oh no no no no no no…

(walks over to window overlooking larger subconscious world, including islands of family, hockey, etc)

That train isn’t supposed to run at night! And it’s certainly not supposed to get this close…

(SOUND OF SHATTERING GLASS as one of the big windows shatters. But it’s not the train, as Fear initially thought. It’s a bunch of very human-looking people repelling into Headquarters through a long rope.)

YUSUF (Dileep Rao)

Okay, that is the last time I jump off a train with you people.

ARIADNE (Ellen Page)

You’re complaining? It worked.

COBB (Leonardo DiCaprio)

Nice work, Ariadne.

JOY (Amy Poehler, entering)

How did you guys crack the glass from a distance? I really could have used that.

ANGER (Lewis Black)

Hey this is an outrage! Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t do sequels!

DISGUST (also entering)

Are you guys kidding? What are you people doing here? We’re deep within someone’s consciousness, you can’t just…

ARTHUR (Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

Take someone else’s ideas? Yeah, I think you can.

COBB (looking around)

We’re not deep enough. We can’t do inception here. This isn’t going to work.

SADNESS (Phyllis Smith)

Oh, this is all my fault.

ANGER

Sadness you can’t blame yourself!

DISGUST

That’s right, it’s these people’s fault.

ANGER

No, we should blame Joy. (to her) Joy, ever since you went down to that Memory Dump, nothing’s ever been the same around here…

(COBB and ARIADNE share a look.)

COBB

We have to go down there.

ARIADNE

We?

COBB (at window, looking down)

I can’t build the dream without you.

YUSUF

They have glowing bowling balls here? Cooooool.

JOY

Uh excuse me good-looking, dangerous stranger, you can’t just go down there. You’ll never get back.

COBB (repurposing rope they came in on)

You people have the Starship Enterprise here, but not a piece of rope?

(ties rope to fixture, preparing to descend)

FEAR (to Yusuf)

Excuse me, you can’t use those for bowling.

YUSUF (head-fakes, conjuring bowling pins)

I’ll tell you a secret, the reality rules around here are pretty flexible.

JOY

You don’t understand. It’s scary in the Memory Dump. My name is Joy, and that place made me cry.

COBB

We’ll take a guide.

(grabs her, jumps out the window)

DISGUST

Joy! Nooo.

ANGER

Hey! You can’t take her!

FEAR

We’re dead. We’re all dead.

ARIADNE

She’ll be fine. I’ll make sure.

(jumps out the window after them)

SADNESS

We can’t just let Joy go. One of us has to help her.

ANGER

Don’t you look at me!

FEAR

Ahhhhhhh!

DISGUST

Ewwwww!

SADNESS

Oh fine, I’ll go.

(she slowly makes her way down the rope to the Memory Dump far below)

DISGUST

What do you people want anyway?

Yusuf and Anger bowl together in the background.

ARTHUR

Yeah, Cobb’s not always great with the explanations. Riley’s his daughter, but she doesn’t know it. Cobb has to plant the idea to the point where she thinks she thought of it – that’s called inception.

DISGUST

That makes no sense.

ARTHUR

You see, inception is a complicated…

DISGUST

No, I mean Riley isn’t that guy’s daughter!

ARTHUR

Look, do you want me to go over the elaborate plot shenanigans, or should we just roll with it, considering that you and I both pretty much swim through plot holes for a living?

DISGUST

If you want to plant an idea in Riley’s head, we have light bulbs for that.

ARTHUR

Really? Wish I knew that before Cobb and Ariadne left.

FEAR (from control panel)

We have a much bigger problem! The last time Joy and Sadness left Headquarters, all of Riley’s personality islands crumbled!

ARTHUR

Really? Let me see this thing. Is this where the light bulbs go?

FEAR

Yeah, but we’re gonna need your friend.

ARTHUR

Yusuf!

ANGER

Oh come on I just have to hit one spare!

YUSUF (approaching)

Oh yeah, I’ve heard of these control panels. Would make my life a lot easier…

(FEAR sneaks up behind ARTHUR and YUSUF and ties them up.)

ANGER

Fear, I’m impressed!

FEAR

Thank you!

DISGUST

Where did you get the rope?

(FEAR gestures toward the open window.)

CUT TO: Memory Dump

SADNESS falling down into the abyss. She lands amongst the black bowling balls; she’s bruised but fine. She sees Joy, Cobb and Ariadne.

COBB

Ariadne, come on! My daughter needs to believe I’m her dad!

ARIADNE

Do you want it done fast, or right?

(The sound of a lot of tumbling bowling balls, as a large pile partly crumbles. From behind what’s left of the pile comes Mal.)

MAL (Marion Cotillard, nervous)

Dom, I didn’t think you were coming back.

COBB

Well of course I came…wait a minute. Why are you acting so weird?

MAL

I’m not acting weird. You’re acting weird.

(Rattling noises from the pile of bowling balls.)

COBB

Are you seeing someone else down here?

MAL

What are you talking about, Dom?

BING BONG (Richard Kind, blobular, emerging)

I’m not ashamed. We’ve been left here forever. And I mean forever.

MAL

Deal with it, Dom.

COBB

No, this can’t be. With an imaginary friend?

SADNESS (approaching)

They’re not real. Just both close your eyes, and when you open them, they’ll be gone.

(COBB and JOY try to do this. They both open their eyes, and see Mal and Bing Bong kissing.)

JOY

Ugh, I can’t unsee this.

COBB

This can only traumatize Riley.

CUT TO: Headquarters.

(Yusuf and Arthur are tied to a pole.)

FEAR

Didn’t they have someone else with them?

ANGER

You would say that.

(SADNESS re-appears.)

DISGUST

Sadness! You’re okay!

SADNESS

They’re just going to be another minute.

FEAR

Oh, I was afraid I’d killed you!

SADNESS

Do you want me to teach you three how to drive the control panel so that you don’t break Riley’s islands?

DISGUST

Yes!

SADNESS

Fear, Anger? Come here, I don’t want to explain this twice.

(FEAR, ANGER, and DISGUST gather at the controls. SADNESS slips away, and in a moment she’s back with the rope, tying/binding them all together.)

FEAR

NOOO!

ANGER

Hey what the deuce is this!!

(SADNESS morphs into EAMES. ARTHUR and YUSUF are free as well.)

EAMES (Tom Hardy)

Yeah, shame about that. Now where’s the right light bulb so we can get out of here?

DISGUST

We’re not telling you anything!

FEAR

Do we know anything?

ANGER

I hate being a supporting character in a story that doesn’t make sense!!!

YUSUF

Eh, you get used to it after a while.

EAMES

Ooh, Arthur, it’s not that light bulb, that’ll turn her brain into scrambled eggs, it’s the “Eternal Sunshine” bulb.

ARTHUR

Ah, good point. We certainly don’t need Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet here stealing our screen time.

EAMES

Or reminding us that Charlie Kaufman had this idea before us or Pixar.

CUT TO: Memory Dump

ARIADNE

Okay, Cobb, it’s ready – where are you?

SADNESS

They left. (sobs)

ARIADNE

That doesn’t make any sense. Why are you crying?

SADNESS

Just…you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and I know you’re leaving soon, and I know you could never like me anyway…

ARIADNE

Now hold on, that’s not true. I think you’re actually kind of amazing.

SADNESS

Really?

ARIADNE

I watched the movie, I kind of fell in love with you.

SADNESS

You’re not joking?

ARIADNE

Eames this isn’t you is it?

SADNESS

Huh?

ARIADNE

Let me just check your real height…

(ARIADNE touches SADNESS’s shoulders)

SADNESS

Oh, it feels so good to be touched. Joy told me that when she came down here, she felt sadness for the first time. And now, I feel…I feel…

(They look into each other’s eyes and…)

CUT TO: Memory Dump – elsewhere

COBB

They’re gone now. They’re gone.

(spins his totem)

JOY

What is that?

COBB

It’s my totem. That way I know if this is real or a dream.

JOY

Oh yeah, I have one of those.

(withdraws Mickey-Mouse keychain)

COBB

That’s your totem?

JOY

Yeah, depending on how it lands, Pixar is better than Disney. After Frozen, it’s a lot more up in the air lately.

COBB

I mean, it’s a little childish, isn’t it?

JOY

You mean you don’t do sequels or kids movies? (beat) Well, I guess you’re quite the bad boy aren’t you?

COBB

JOY

Excuse me, I guess I’m not used to adult men. When I think of how I’ve had to settle for Fear and Anger for 13 years…

COBB

What does that mean?

JOY

You know why Mal keeps coming back don’t you?

COBB

Because I don’t have my daughter. That’s what we’re doing here.

JOY

Even if you get your daughter, you’re still going to have the same problems. You are going to still be you, unless you change.

COBB

How am I supposed to…?

JOY

You need to feel joy.

COBB

How am I supposed to do that?

(Joy puts Cobb’s hands on her shoulders. They start to kiss. Joy spins her Mickey Mouse totem…)

END

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