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More and fewer discussions

February 6, 2019, 12:14 pm

Coming back to blogging a bit… I really appreciated the level of appreciation for last week’s blog entry…thanks. One takeaway is that I’m probably not going to entirely walk away from Facebook anytime soon…support network and all that. I appreciated people saying that my email was dispositive. I want that to be true but…Dar’s screaming is becoming a bigger and bigger issue. I was recently talking with his home therapist about it. She asked me about the 5am wakeups: “is
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Six-year struggle: over

January 30, 2019, 9:14 am

The blog is back, baby! Back big time! And with HUGE, TERRIFIC news to report. We’ve done something for Dar that only took…six years to pull off. I could tell you right away, but let’s build this up for a minute. First I want to say that I’m very pleased that I paused blogging for the last few weeks…I think it let me focus. Focus on what, you may ask? Well…Dar’s school’s lead “inclusion specialist,” whom I’ll call E, called
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Blog entropy

January 3, 2019, 10:35 am

Hi loyal readers, I hate to say or do this, but I’m going to be suspending the blog for a little while. It’s becoming a bit of a distraction when I need to focus on other things. And the meat of the Dar chronicles is now something that I can’t quite reveal here yet…I’m working on changing the school’s IEP (or maybe just the school), and I don’t want to air that laundry in public quite yet. I really, truly
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

December 28, 2018, 9:34 pm

Thanks for continuing to check in here. I’m not going to go off on a thousand tangents as I have in previous years. Let’s all hope for a terrific start to 2019 and I’ll see you here shortly afterward. Share this post

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Raft Analogy

December 20, 2018, 8:53 pm

I’m just gonna leave this here. I sometimes say Dar has never spoken. I say it here. I say it to family. I say it to strangers. But it’s not exactly true. Dar speaks all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. But we can’t understand him, because all he says is gibberish. Loud gibberish. Gibberish at 5:30 every morning that could wake the dead. Gibberish during afternoons and evenings that makes it almost impossible for us to watch TV at anything
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Silver Whinings Playbook

December 14, 2018, 7:48 am

We can’t move. I love my job when my students teach me things. Last week, they taught me: we can’t move. We’re stuck in our house in Berkeley until Dar moves out, maybe in 12 years? Maybe never. I mean, I knew that. But I hadn’t seen it in celluloid. And my job is about applying celluloid to life. I’d slept on it. I teach “America on Film,” or as I call it, “the diversity class.” One week, it’s Latinos
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…and a partridge in a Dar tree

November 29, 2018, 4:28 pm

Are we doing enough for Dar? This question haunts us. Now that the year is coming to a close, I can’t help but look back and ask, what were we doing in 2018 when we might have been helping Dar? Does everyone ask themselves this? Should everyone? I wonder. Despite (because of?) all the overscheduling of these 21st-century kids, I wonder how much of their upbringing is delegated to the schools while we parents pursue our own muses. We tell
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…and be thankful for a never ending story

November 22, 2018, 10:58 am

  I am thankful that my life is rather amazing despite Dar. I mean, other than him, my life is kind of everything I wanted and worked for. How bonkers is that? And how does it affect his life? Maybe no one has the life they pictured. Occasionally I’ll have a Sliding Doors moment, a bit ofMan in the High Castle, where I seem to flash on the life I thought I wanted. That happened the other day at our hotel,
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Buhhhh

November 15, 2018, 8:53 pm

I’m going to make this blog post very short, and just a little sweet. I’m anticipating Thanksgiving, and I’m thankful for the five seconds that I’m about to describe. First, a set-up. Almost every night, I put Dar to bed. (On the other nights, wifey puts him to bed.) I walk him upstairs and walk him right into his bed. I literally tuck him in. I kiss his head. Then I say “night.” Very rarely, he might try to answer
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Canvassing for my kids’ future

November 9, 2018, 11:26 am

“I’m doing this for my kids. I’m not some kind of doctrinaire Democrat or anything, it’s just that I want my kids to have a future.” These are words I spoke many times over the last weekend to strangers. They have the virtue of being true. Of course, it’s also true that if wifey and I remain in California, which just elected another big-old-government Democrat to the governorship, there’s a good chance that California will make sure that Dar will
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