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North!

November 7, 2019, 11:11 am

Hi loyal blog readers! Have you ever wondered what I would be doing if Dar were neurotypical? Well, I have! Dar is not my 24/7 preoccupation. I also work, look for work, parent the other bambino, and make time for wifey. Like you, I also deal with a hundred other distractions regarding debt, creditors, licenses, city forms, paperwork, insurance, medical stuff, permissions, applications, approvals…et cetera. Still. I feel strongly that I could be doing more if Dar’s condition wasn’t sucking
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Powerless and Traumaless

October 30, 2019, 3:14 pm

Let the record show that in the year of our Lord two thousand nineteen, we visited the Charles M. Schulz museum in Santa Rosa, which very narrowly escaped incineration in California’s worst fire of 2017. Three days after our visit…a new and devastating fire, California’s worst of 2019, began to threaten the place again. Before this is over, we’ll all be living like Pigpen. Let the record also show that we are not the victims here. All your and my
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The Good and the Grief

October 25, 2019, 12:09 pm

A couple of weeks ago, Dar’s 7-year-old brother, R, asked to go to our local city library, where he checked out a bunch of Peanuts books. When it comes to collected books of comic strips, my packrat tendencies have paid off during about a thousand bedtimes…but my collection clearly wasn’t enough. R wanted more. And that meant that the time had come to take the boys to the Charles M. Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa. Did I say the boys?
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Happy 10th Birthday Dar!

October 15, 2019, 6:02 pm

Dar hits double digits. Whoa. Ten years ago today, wife and I became parents. For the first time ever, here’s a video of Dar. Still getting the hang of this thing and getting the courage to show Dar…uh, in limited doses. Not pictured: his brother blowing out the candles with glee. Maybe he was happier afterward. Or maybe…a lot afterward Entering our second decade of him holding our heart and us holding our breath…let’s do this   Share this post

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911 Again

October 9, 2019, 5:49 pm

It happened again on Monday. Not the screaming, exactly. Not exactly the screaming as though fire is roasting your genitalia. I mean, I’m used to that. What happened was, in reaction to the screaming, an urgent knock at the door at about 4:15pm. I opened the door. It was a male stranger in his mid-50s, maybe, with a female stranger in her mid-40s, perhaps. He had his iPhone to his ear. “Hi,” I said. “How can I help you?” “What’s
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10 possible reasons

October 2, 2019, 12:21 pm

Here are ten possible reasons that Dar wakes up most mornings screaming like someone is drilling 17 of his teeth: His caterwaulings are his way of saying “cock-a-doodle-doo,” and Dar is half-rooster, which might explain other things. He doesn’t like his bed because it doesn’t hold him enough. We moved him from a standard child bed to one that holds him more, but maybe we need the full Temple Grandin? He’s trapped in this mute body but he’s really neuro-typical.
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Greta the Great

September 26, 2019, 10:38 am

Perhaps you’ve heard of Greta Thunberg. I was a little surprised to hear that her most popular tweet of the last thirty days went like this: “When haters go after your looks and differences, it means they have nowhere left to go. And then you know you’re winning! I have Aspergers and that means I’m sometimes a bit different from the norm. And – given the right circumstances- being different is a superpower. #aspiepower” That tweet earned 772,000+ likes! That’s more
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Timeate Change

September 19, 2019, 4:41 pm

Dar is Dar. I spent this week fighting for his future in a different way…arranging to plant trees and arranging to attend the climate strike tomorrow. I’ll try to return to something more like the blog next week. Thanks for checking this space! Share this post

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The bad kind of SIBs

September 12, 2019, 7:36 am

Dar’s latest bruise is on my brain. If you’re not a parent, or if your kid(s) is/are neuro-typical, you may not be familiar with the term “self-injurious behavior,” a term common enough in my community to be regularly acronym-ized. We’ll see forms that say “SIBs?” or “Amount of SIBs ____” or the like. The SIB I saw this week left me scared…for Dar and for us. I don’t know exactly what prompted it. No doubt our ABA therapist (who Dar
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One letter off

September 6, 2019, 10:49 am

Have you ever noticed that Big Sur is almost Big Surf? And even though that seems appropriate – Big Sur has big surf – etymologically, they’re not related? Also, Carmel is one letter away from caramel and camel. Carmel has good caramels but not good camels. Darwin is one letter away from some neuro-typical kid named Darin or Darwina. When I was his current age, I would sit around thinking about things like this. He can’t. Or at least, all evidence
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