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…and a partridge in a Dar tree

November 29, 2018, 4:28 pm

Are we doing enough for Dar? This question haunts us. Now that the year is coming to a close, I can’t help but look back and ask, what were we doing in 2018 when we might have been helping Dar? Does everyone ask themselves this? Should everyone? I wonder. Despite (because of?) all the overscheduling of these 21st-century kids, I wonder how much of their upbringing is delegated to the schools while we parents pursue our own muses. We tell
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…and be thankful for a never ending story

November 22, 2018, 10:58 am

  I am thankful that my life is rather amazing despite Dar. I mean, other than him, my life is kind of everything I wanted and worked for. How bonkers is that? And how does it affect his life? Maybe no one has the life they pictured. Occasionally I’ll have a Sliding Doors moment, a bit ofMan in the High Castle, where I seem to flash on the life I thought I wanted. That happened the other day at our hotel,
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Buhhhh

November 15, 2018, 8:53 pm

I’m going to make this blog post very short, and just a little sweet. I’m anticipating Thanksgiving, and I’m thankful for the five seconds that I’m about to describe. First, a set-up. Almost every night, I put Dar to bed. (On the other nights, wifey puts him to bed.) I walk him upstairs and walk him right into his bed. I literally tuck him in. I kiss his head. Then I say “night.” Very rarely, he might try to answer
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Canvassing for my kids’ future

November 9, 2018, 11:26 am

“I’m doing this for my kids. I’m not some kind of doctrinaire Democrat or anything, it’s just that I want my kids to have a future.” These are words I spoke many times over the last weekend to strangers. They have the virtue of being true. Of course, it’s also true that if wifey and I remain in California, which just elected another big-old-government Democrat to the governorship, there’s a good chance that California will make sure that Dar will
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Before the Breaking of the World

November 1, 2018, 4:49 am

As I start to type this blog post, it’s exactly 3am on November 1, the Day of the Dead. The Dead Tired, that is. I woke up maybe 40 minutes ago, like James Brown, in a cold sweat. How’s that for candor? The T-shirt in which I’d been sleeping was soaked, as was the sheet under me. I arose, trying not to wake wifey. In my bedroom closet hang all my large T-shirts for moments just like these – no
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Dar Turns 9

October 26, 2018, 10:32 am

Dar is getting seriously tall! I mean, you know that thing where people put pencil marks on a doorway to mark their kids’ height every year? Yeah, we do that too. As you can see by looking at his doorway, Dar’s jump from 8 to 9 was a bigger gap than any of his other gaps. That’s crazy. Are we over-feeding him? He’s as skinny as Olive Oyl. I guess he has my metabolism. I wish he’d metabolize a little
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Halfway to Adulthood?

October 18, 2018, 4:31 pm

I think about Dar’s birthday all the time, in the sense that I think it’s terribly tragic that Dar doesn’t, and may never, know when it’s his birthday. I don’t know why that matters to me; maybe life would be better if more people were less invested in their birthdays. But…I’m not feeling that. I feel…the desire for Dar to feel that he deserves a special day, instead of feeling that every day is special-needs day. So we try to
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“Autism Dad,” or, “Severe”

October 11, 2018, 9:08 pm

I can’t hate the gig economy, because I feel that my generation created it for reasons that go beyond capitalist imperatives. Hanging out recently at my 30thhigh school reunion, I sensed that many of my classmates are inveterate project-creators. Most of us don’t commit ourselves to a 40-year career in something; instead we dream of doing the next cool thing, even if it’s not particularly lucrative. So what does it mean to have a generation, and a next generation, of
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Teach Your Children Well

October 3, 2018, 8:42 pm

This is a blog about raising my autistic child. In the middle of what we will someday look back upon as This Brett Kavanaugh Madness, a lot of people are talking about raising children – raising girls to be strong enough to speak up and/or resist, raising boys to treat females with respect. I sometimes feel that raising Dar is a third Venn Diagram circle that doesn’t really overlap with either of those two. Of course, that isn’t quite the
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New Jersey Mulligan

September 27, 2018, 1:21 pm

I’m in the Garden State, so I’m taking a mulligan. Twice as much next week. Thanks for checking, loyal readers! Share this post

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