Happy Autism Awareness Month! This blog entry’s title may be a little misleading. I don’t really mean that we took a vacation from autism awareness; in our case, that might be nice, that might be impossible. No, this is more of a “what if we could see our recent vacation through awareness of what Dar wants to say, despite his autism?” I did another post like this a few months back, and people seemed to like it. So journey with us, won’t you, through a super-sized post of utterly unverifiable projections of what Dar may have said as we visited Washington D.C., Arlington, Montpelier, Monticello, UVA, Duke U, Atlanta, Savannah, and Charleston:
“Why am I always being pulled into these group photos? Have I not made it clear that I don’t like looking at that camera when you guys do?”
“Yes, my brother talks, but you don’t see me clinging to a stuffed animal everywhere I go.”
“See, I’m giving this shot the appropriate dreamy quality those lit cherry blossoms deserve.”
“Dad thinks this is some big deal cause this dude has a disability. Whatever.”
“Squirrel!”
“Cherry blossom, shmerry blossom, can I have some more goldfish crackers?”
“I was told POOL. I can’t swim in this!”
“Dad won’t let me jump in this either. Jerk.”
“Museum of American Hisboring, is what it should be called.”
“…Unless I get to piggyback on Dad. Let this piggyback of the people, by the people, and for the people not perish from the earth!”
“Is this that stupid perfect family that Dad wishes we were?”
“None of our other Easters were this nice. I knew Dad was holding out on us.”
“See Dad, at least I don’t stare at TV like my cousins.”
“Did you know James Madison is shorter than my brother? Seriously, I had to stand this far behind Dolley just to give him a chance to look big.”
“It was Adam Smith who explained the invisible hand. It is I who spends hours staring at my invisible hand.”
“Rich guy, old house, wrote the Constitution, blah blah blah blah blah.”
“Dad, UVA seems fine, but shouldn’t I be trying for the Ivy Leagues?”
“It’s an old acting trick: play it like you have a secret.”
“We should enjoy the statue of this slaveowning imperialist third President before someone tears it down.”
“Dad you’re not supposed to take pictures inside Monticello!…Though yes, that rationale about ‘some of the collection isn’t ours’ sounded pretty ridiculous to me.”
“I love my mommy, but don’t always show it.”
“Wait, you’re telling me that only Jefferson’s descendants through his white wife get any of this money? Sally Hemings’ kids get nothing?”
“That’s hysterical!”
“I have a dream…that Dad will let me out of here.”
“I like these guys. They don’t talk, and everyone wants to take pictures with them.”
“Long walk to freedom? Yeah, I can see that.”
“Dad thanks for taking me to the graves of Dr. and Mrs. King. For once I’m understanding the let’s-respect-the-reflecting-pool thing.”
“I know THIS IS CNN, but THIS IS also way too big a building.”
“Love our bus tour of Savannah!”
“Best bus tour ever!”
“It’s like New Orleans but with oak tree branches of Spanish moss making canopies everywhere.”
“Okay Dad, I know you’ve been trying to get a picture of my brother and I smiling together…”
“I’m giving you three chances Dad, and that’s it. No, forget about focus or the background, that would be silly of you.”
“Last one Dad! You better be grateful.”
“Also be grateful that I don’t jump into this thing.”
“Mom and Dad have stuffed me into the corner of this balcony overlooking Savannah River. It’s like they don’t trust me or something.”
“That’s right. DAR. So there.”
“Well, at least Savannah College of Art and Design doesn’t have an acronym as bad as Antonin Scalia School Of Law.”
“Let’s get moody!”
“I may go to Thousand Oaks School, but this town knows how to do a thousand oaks.”
“Thanks for taking us to the beach in Charleston Dad. You do know we have better beaches in California right?”
“Yep, I’m getting drenched! And you guys have to deal with it! Ha ha.”
“My dad keeps looking for Confederate flags and not seeing any. Whoop de woo, what is that supposed to mean?”
“I got your brand new U.S. customs rightcheyehere.”
“And ONE MORE THING…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
