Here are ten possible reasons that Dar wakes up most mornings screaming like someone is drilling 17 of his teeth:

  1. His caterwaulings are his way of saying “cock-a-doodle-doo,” and Dar is half-rooster, which might explain other things.
  2. He doesn’t like his bed because it doesn’t hold him enough. We moved him from a standard child bed to one that holds him more, but maybe we need the full Temple Grandin?
  3. He’s trapped in this mute body but he’s really neuro-typical. When he went to bed last night, he made a secret-special wish that he would wake up with the ability to speak. He woke up and his realization that he still can’t speak makes him feel like the central figure in Edvard Munch’s The Scream.
  4. He’s scared to be alone. And after we join him, he still needs another ten minutes of screaming to shake off all the fear he had had.
  5. He’s realized that the few hours of sleep that wife and I get are way too many, and that we need to get fewer hours to really maximize our potential on this earth.
  6. It’s a cry for help. He wants to upgrade to a better family and he’s hoping the neighbors or social services will hear him?
  7. He has actual pain in some part of his body, and he notices it more upon waking up. (We have tried for years to get him to show us where it hurts [it = anything], to no avail.)
  8. He’s working on his horror-movie auditions. Gotta say, he is looking good for all available parts!
  9. He’s hungry? Possible, though he does have unfettered access to food at all times.
  10. He would like something other than a day of eating, lessons, and watching fun videos. Yeah, wouldn’t we all.

 

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